


Friendsgiving (put your hands on in)

by bisexualtelepath



Series: Irregularity: A D&D Group Chat AU [11]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Original Work, The Irregulars - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Friendsgiving, Friendship, Thanksgiving Dinner, that good good found family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-27 23:57:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16712509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualtelepath/pseuds/bisexualtelepath
Summary: Bongo Bastard: No one should be alone on thanksgiving!G0neR0gue: Thats tomorrowBongo Bastard: Fuck me I keep doing thatRanger Danger: Friendsgiving, thenG0neR0gue: no offence Althaea, but thats a dumb nameRanger Danger: Don’t be rude; Bree came up with itG0neR0gue: ...slightly more offence





	Friendsgiving (put your hands on in)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this i three hours at my actual family's thanksgiving party. So.

[November 21, 2018 1:31 P.M.]

**G0neR0gue:** Is something burning

**G0neR0gue:** Because usually thats my job

**Orias:** No, I’m just making lamb stew

**Ranger Danger:** I’m helping

**Orias:** Althaea is… here

**Ranger Danger:** Someone needs to make sure Ookami doesn’t eat anything

**Orias:** You can just close the door?

**Ranger Danger:** I’d miss him tho

**Bongo Bastard:** Aww

**Bongo Bastard:** Also I’m in the living room! Bree is also here!

**Bongo Bastard:** for someone who is not strong she kneads dough like a champ

**G0neR0gue:** I didnt ask

**Orias:** Wait why doesn’t she do that here in the kitchen?

**Ranger Danger:** I mean, it can get a little cramped

**G0neR0gue:** Shes tiny, its fine

**Bongo Bastard:** “I need space and I don’t want dog hair in these biscuits”

**Orias:** Yeah that tracks

**Ranger Danger:** Wait Kenna I didn’t even think you were home

**G0neR0gue:** Where else would I be

**Ranger Danger:** Idk, hanging with Vulcan? Terrorizing our freshmen?

**G0neR0gue:** The game knights have their own thing theyre doing

**G0neR0gue:** Socks is on a mom rampage

**G0neR0gue:** Simon and Gareth already went home

**Bongo Bastard:** Well you can come hang out with us!!!

**Bongo Bastard:** No one should be alone on thanksgiving!

**G0neR0gue:** Thats tomorrow

**Bongo Bastard:** Fuck me I keep doing that

**Ranger Danger:** Friendsgiving, then

**Orias:** Is that what we’re calling it?

**Bongo Bastard:** It IS NOW!!!

**G0neR0gue:** no offence Althaea, but thats a dumb name

**Ranger Danger:** Don’t be rude; Bree came up with it

**G0neR0gue:** ...slightly more offence

**Bongo Bastard:** O_o

**Easy Bree-zy:** this is what I return to? after all my hard work on this, our first annual Friendsgiving?

**Ranger Danger:** Right next to my salad?

**Easy Bree-zy:** see if you get a cupcake with your favorite icing, Kenna

**Orias: @Ranger Danger** You’re not eating a salad?

**Bongo Bastard:** OH??? My god???????

**Easy Bree-zy:** no

**Ranger Danger:** Dad come here for a sec

**Easy Bree-zy:** NO

**Bongo Bastard:** Y E S

**Easy Bree-zy:** THERE IS A L I N E ALTHAEA

**Ranger Danger:** And we haven’t found it yet

**Easy Bree-zy:** don’t make me come in there

**Orias:** Sorry, is this… porn?

**Orias:** Why is she showing me porn

**G0neR0gue:** Do you… not know what porn is

**Bongo Bastard:** holy fuck

**Orias:** Of course I do! I’m not a child!

**G0neR0gue:** Listen if you told me you’d never heard of porn Id believe you

[1:38 P.M.]

**Ranger Danger:** Bree slammed my laptop shut as soon as the blessed line was spoken

**Ranger Danger:** She’s kicking me outof the kitchen

**Orias:** I’m going back to my stew now please

**Easy Bree-zy:** I’ll fight all of you in hand to hand combat

**Easy Bree-zy:** meet me by the pond at midnight

**Ranger Danger:** We’ll all be gone by then and you know it

**Easy Bree-zy:** sounds to me like you’re a quitter

**G0neR0gue:** Gods I wish I had popcorn

**Ranger Danger:** Why don’t we settle this right now then

**Bongo Bastard:** !!!!!!!

**Orias:** Listen if you’re gonna spar please do it not here

**Easy Bree-zy:** i’m making PIE and BISCUITS

**Easy Bree-zy:** DO YOU NOT WANT PIE AND BISCUITS

**Ranger Danger:** ...valid

**Bongo Bastard:** Althaea come watch the tail-end of the dog show with me!

**Ranger Danger:** OH DOGS?

**Bongo Bastard:** SO MANY GOOD DOGGOS

**Easy Bree-zy:** I’m locking the door you heathens

**G0neR0gue:** Wait let me come get a snack

**Easy Bree-zy:** if you step into this kitchen you’d better be prepared to help

**G0neR0gue:** I’ll just steal some of Gareth’s mints

**Orias:** That’s uncalled for

**G0neR0gue:** Youre uncalled for

**Orias:** ...Okay

[4:11 P.M.]

**Easy Bree-zy:** TIME FOR THE FRIENDSGIVING FEAST!

**G0neR0gue:** Its like 4 pm wtf

**Bongo Bastard:** Eating unreasonably early is part of the fun!!

**G0neR0gue:** If you say so

**Orias:** Am I cutting the turkey?

**Ranger Danger:** Why wouldn’t you?

**Easy Bree-zy:** of course! you’re our friend dad!

**Bongo Bastard:** OH GOD THIS SMELLS SO GOOD

**Ranger Danger:** This is a fucking feast

**Easy Bree-zy:** did everyone wash up?

**Bongo Bastard:** o shit brb

**Easy Bree-zy:** and yeah you all have to take leftovers home! and bring some back if you’ve got em

**Orias:** My mom makes these fantastic cookies with cream in the middle; I’ll bring some back

**Easy Bree-zy:** I love you so much

**G0neR0gue:** Wait are we all sitting at the table

**Ranger Danger:** ...Kenna… have you never had a thanksgiving?

**Bongo Bastard:** GASP

**G0neR0gue:** …

**G0neR0gue:** Its been a while

**G0neR0gue:** Definitely never had a “friendsgiving”

**Easy Bree-zy:** oh

**Easy Bree-zy:** well good thing I made your cupcake anyway

**Orias:** Do you wanna help me cut the turkey? You can tell me how I’m using a knife all wrong

**G0neR0gue:** Yeah

**Bongo Bastard:** OK I’M BACK LETS GET THIS BREAD

**Bongo Bastard:** AND TURKEY

[6:27 P.M.]

**Bongo Bastard:** I’m stuffed. And dying

**Ranger Danger:** Don’t call me out like this

**Orias:** That was really great, you guys

**Easy Bree-zy:** so….. tired……

**Bongo Bastard:** Does anyone wanna cuddle pile

**Ranger Danger:** Bold of you to assume I’m moving from the couch

**Bongo Bastard:** Bree and I can come to you

**Easy Bree-zy:** what

**Orias:** Lemme finish up with the dishes

**Ranger Danger: @G0neR0gue** ???

**G0ne0gue:** Ill come but dont expect me to get in on it

**Ranger Danger:** Fair enou

**Ranger Danger:** asnjdibh

**Ranger Danger** _ sent an image to the group chat. _

**Orias:** Oh that’s cute

**Ranger Danger:** It would have been cuter if Laz didn’t very nearly drop her like whoa

**G0neR0gue:** She looks like a koala

**Easy Bree-zy:** I’m too stuffed to talk y’all

**Easy Bree-zy:** Like holy shit

**Bongo Bastard:** ^^

**Ranger Danger:** Thank gods for cell phones

**Bongo Bastard:** OH FUCK WE DIDNT SAY WHAT WE WERE THANKFUL FOR

**Bongo Bastard:** We’re FOOLS

**Easy Bree-zy:** Oh shit

**Orias:** We can do it now?

**Orias:** Wow you look cozy

**Ranger Danger:** Come join our silent snuggle

**Bongo Bastard:** I’m thankful for food and everything and everyone that had a hand in making it a thing

**Ranger Danger:** well put

**G0neR0gue:** Im thankful we forgot to say what were thankful for earlier bc it feels kinda dumb

**Easy Bree-zy:** try again hun

**G0neR0gue:** ...Im thankful for… the color black

**Easy Bree-zy:** we’ll do better next time

**Orias:** I’m thankful for being able to go to school here, even though it’s far from home and my mom

**Orias:** I’ve gotten a lot of really great opportunities. And you guys are really cool.

**Ranger Danger:** That’s really sweet, Dad

**Easy Bree-zy:** I’m so tired and happy I might cry

**Bongo Bastard:** I’m…. already crying :’))

**Orias:** Oh gods I’m so sorry

**Bongo Bastard:** They’re….. happy tears…..

**Easy Bree-zy:** come closer so I can stroke your hair

**Ranger Danger:** I’m thankful for Ookami 

**G0neR0gue:** I feel like thats your answer every year

**Ranger Danger:** Your point?

**Easy Bree-zy:** I’ll allow it

**Easy Bree-zy:** I’m thankful for

**Easy Bree-zy:** this moment. right now

**Bongo Bastard:** I….. cry……

**Ranger Danger:** If I weren’t already hugging you 

**Ranger Danger:** You’d have to watch tf out

**Bongo Bastard:** Bree……. that’s so gay

**G0neR0gue:** Is this holiday always so… familial

**Orias:** That’s the point! 

**Orias:** That and remembering human colonialism and racism against certain prejudiced races

**Easy Bree-zy:** worm

**G0neR0gue:** I think I hate it

**Bongo Bastard:** It’s probs not or everyone, ya

**Easy Bree-zy:** good thing the day after thanksgiving is the first day of winters crest

**G0neR0gue:** ...Isnt that the end of december?

**Ranger Danger:** It is if you’re a quitter


End file.
